I was so wrong

I was really wrong in my last post. I know that next to no one is reading this so I feel at this point that I can be free with my thoughts...today we had a break through. He said some things, I said some things and it all came together. We are still working on it. I am feeling more and more submissive every day and he is working really hard to be my Dom. I find that my submission comes most often when I am honest with myself and with him.
He has always been such a good man. A gentle man and a loving man. He was controlled and had a domineering mother who to this day remains steadfast in her ways. My Beast however is coming out of his shell. This may be TMI but I am at the tail end of my period. He always has Wednesday off but we had a kid home today with a new painful orthodontic appliance so we let him stay home. We couldn't play or have snuggle time. I went to the gym (I'm trying to lose the last of the weight I put on so many years ago) and I had a great workout with my trainer and on the treadmill. I came home and the boy was playing a video game, Beast was on the computer so I went about my business.
Beast came into our room and wanted to snuggle. He forgot that I was at the tail end of my period. I didn't know how to say "yucky Beast...it makes me feel dirty to bleed on you." Instead of sharing those thoughts I just pretended to be asleep. He later came in and said that he had wanted to ask me to get him off, but went to shower and did it himself. Very unsatisfying...well that won't do. I shared with him how I felt we could better improve our communication on all things D/s and he agreed...he really agreed!!! Oh heaven! I was giddy. So giddy in fact that I went into the bathroom, removed said device trapping the offending fluid and gave myself over to his base desire. It was fantastic...primal and sexy. His grunting made me more horny. I wanted him all over me, everywhere...in my soul. It was liberating. After, a shower where I cleaned him with all the love I have in my heart.
Hours later after all our boys were home and doing the things they do I entered our room once again and presented my breasts to him. He was leaving for an appointment but I couldn't get enough. This is so unlike me but I just need him so much...
I got to my knees and presented as I have read so many of my sub blog friend talk about. With all the love I could convey I watched as he pulled his belt apart, unzipped his jeans and removed himself from his boxer briefs. He was hard and long and delectable. I took the length of him into my mouth and felt enormous satisfaction when his eyes closed as I gazed up at him from the floor. He pulled my mouth onto him more deeply and held my head steady with his strong arms while fucking my face. I was instantly transported to another place. Bliss is what I can describe it as...deep satisfaction, even when I gagged on his hard length. I very rarely get to suck him off and he has only come in my mouth maybe once or twice in 19 years...but tonight...oh tonight he let me taste him and it was amazingly glorious...salty, sweet and a bit of rustic manliness. I am floating on a cloud right now.
We are getting there. Slowly, in a calculating fashion, but we own it. It's ours. I'm so euphoric right now...I want to lie in his arms and be naked up against his strong body. Bummer he has things to do. Next week, oh glory be, next week he has the whole week off work and the boys are in school. I will go to the gym every day and then I am his for the remaining hours. I can't wait to see what he has in store. I can't wait to see what my submission means to him.
Beast is my everything...my one and only and my forever. However and whenever I can have the pleasure of entertaining him.